2 wrongs
by Leyany
Summary: I can't come up with any summary, I don't know what the story will end up like. Chapter 2 is actually a part of chapter 1 that I noticed I had forgotten to add to that document. Just took me a week to notice that....s
1. Chapter 1

It was one of the lowest moments in her life, the moment when she walked through the door at the firehouse. She felt everyone staring at her, conversations fading, quite whispering the second she walked by someone. She tried her best to seem on top of the situation. Smiled happily and said hi to all the wellknown faces. Inside she felt like digging a hole and disappear. It hadn't turned out so good at the FBI academy, she never felt at home and it had felt like she lost control of things. Most of the students there were great policeofficers and knew exactly what to do in any given situation. She wasn't the best student nor the best officer. She was just average. Nobody noticed her because of her achievements, she couldn't deal with that. She wanted to be noticed, that people looked up at her, and used her as an example of great policework. That hadn't happened. She felt misplaced. She couldn't take it any longer, she couldn't deal with the constant pine either. The extreme longing for TC. Even though she had filed for divorce more than 4 months ago, he was always on her mind. Made it impossible for her to concentrate or be herself. So she had decided to go back to Santa Monica. Even though she was fully aware of what a drawback that was for her. How people would gossip about her behind her back. About her and TC, about Cory. About her failure both as a wife and an officer.

Cory sat behind her desk doing some paperwork when she looked up and saw Chris standing in front of her.

"Hi", Chris said cheerfully, with an undertone of nervousness and contempt.

"Hi", Cory answered and got up and around her desk to give her a hug. Chris gave a brief hug back and took a few steps away from Cory. Her belly had gotten bigger, it was very easy to see that she was expecting a baby.

"How are you?", Chris asked still secretly looking at the belly.

"Fine, I'm just fine", Cory noticed that she looked at her.

"The baby is doing great", she continued, but regretted it the second it came out. Chris wouldn't be interested in knowing that. That her best friends baby was doing great, the baby who's father was her husband. Chris just nodded for an answer and turned around and headed for TC's office.

He hadn't noticed that she had come in that morning, he was busy reading through some papers that he should have read through last night.

She opened the door slowly and looked at him for a second before she entered the office quietly. He looked up at her, and felt his heart skip a beat. He didn't know what to say or what to do. They hadn't spoken since she left, he had just gotten a call from his chief that Chris was coming back and if it was okay with him that she started working at the firehouse again. He had said yes without hesitation. It was like a dream come true for him, having her back. But he knew perfectly well that this was a low point for her and that all of her dreams had been crushed. Still it made him happy, maybe this time she would realise how good they were together. That her dream would change, and she started dreaming of a life with him again instead. A life where they had the same goals for the future, where she didn't use all of her energy on being the best all the time.

He gave her a long hug, held her tight to him. Smelled her hair and stroke her back.

She felt like vanishing in his arms, be there forever. But everytime he was near her or everytime she saw him, the image of him together with Cory poped up in her head and ripped her heart out. Over and over again.

"It's so good to see you", TC whispered in her hair. She didn't answer, swallow hard a couple of times and loosened herself from his firm grip.

She put on a cold smile and looked at him.

"I wont be long, I'll just stay here while I search for other jobs. Eric might find something for me in homicide", she said. She felt satisfied when she saw how TC bit his teeth together. She knew how TC felt about Eric Thomas. The detective that had borrowed her a couple of times to investigate homicides. She also knew that Eric hadn't made it a secret that he wanted her, and that TC had noticed that every single time he saw the two of them together.

"Will you be living at home?", TC asked to change subject, he wanted to avoid talking about Eric for all it was worth.

"I don't have a home at the moment. I doubt there will be a good idea for us to stay together. After all we are divorce", she made the divorcepart seem like a victory. In reality just saying the word made her ache. She had divorced the person she loved the most, the only one she cared about. The only one who had hurt her more than she ever thought was possible.

TC sat down on the sofa with a beer in his hand. He had wanted to throw something hard at Chris when she mentioned the divorce. How could she file for divorce without even trying to make things better, without offering one second to fix their marriage. And the way she had talked about that Eric guy. He felt nauseous just by thinking of the way he had used to look at his wife. With a hungry smile and always putting a hand on her shoulder. He had no business touching his wife. The anger rose in him and made it impossible for him to sit still.

She had been looking through the window before she knocked on the backdoor.

TC went over and opened it, and let out an annoyed sigh when he saw Monica standing there.

"What do you want?", he asked irritated.

"Well lieutenant, that's not the tone of a happy man who has just gotten his beloved wife home again", she said and smiled childishly at him and stroke his arm.

"Drop it Monica. What did you come over for?", he dragged his arm to him to make her stop the stroking.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. I'm worried about you. Here Chris is back again and everything should be just great, but instead of spending her first day here at home with you, she spends it at the boardwalk together with detective Thomas. So, I felt sorry for you", she said in a babyvoice.

TC pushed her towards the door so hard she almost fell down, and locked the door shut behind her.

"That damn bitch", he said to himself, referring to Chris. He put on some other shoes and went out the door, headed for the boardwalk.

They sat close together on a bench just above the beach. The sun had started to set and TC hid behind a palmtree a bit away from them . Chris had spotted him in the corner of her eye, but didn't let him know he had been caught. This was what she had planned for all along. When she had seen Monica looking at them just half an hour earlier she knew that TC would show up any second. At least she could always count on Monica to spread that type of gossip. She laughed quietly to herself, and slowly leant towards Eric and rested her head on his shoulder. He looked at her with a big smile on his face, and put an arm around her waist.

TC's blood was boiling, his heart was beating its way through his chest, and he felt like he would suffocate any second. Then someone placed a hand on his shoulder and he turned around and saw Jamie standing behind him.

"What are you up to?", she asked him. He gave no answer, instead Jamie looked in the direction TC had been looking. It was Chris sitting there on the bench with another man, at first she didn't recognize him, but then it dawned on her that it was Eric Thomas that she knew Chris had worked with a couple of times. There had even been some rumours at the firehouse about what the two of them were doing behind TC's back. But Jamie had never bought those rumours, she wasn't the one who believed in all kind of gossip.

But now she wasn't sure anymore. Her hand was still on TC's shoulder and she felt how intense his breathing was.

"Maybe we should go away", she said a bit concerned. TC looked like he was about to run down there and beat the living daylight out of Eric any minute now.

TC turned around and looked at her and unwilling followed her when she started walking. She bought two cups of coffee and sat down on the grass. TC sat down beside her and looked gratefully at her when she handed him the cup.

"I'm sorry", she said to him when she had made herself comfortable on the sticky grass.

"Yeah…", TC answered and took a sip of the coffee.

"So maybe the rumours were true after all", he said more or less to himself.

"You knew about them?", Jamie asked.

"The firehouse is a small place, and I'm there a lot", he said with a laugh.

"Not the best place to keep a secret, that's true", Jamie laughed back.

"God, what if they were true…", TC leant his head back and tried to get the image of Chris and Eric out of his head.

"I don't know whether they were or were not true TC. But excuse me for saying this…", she looked at him to get clearance to go ahead. He nodded at her.

"Didn't you and Cory…"she said, didn't feel a need to complete the sentence as TC would know what she meant anyway.

"Yeah…", he said in a breath.

"Is that any better than if Chris and Eric did?"

"Chris had already left when Cory and I slipped that night."

"She had left for Virginia, but she was still your wife", Jamie looked at him. He twirled a little and hesitated before he answered.¨

"I know what Cory and I did was extremely out of line. I'm regretting it every single day. I can't make it undone, I can't tell Chris how sorry I am, because when truth shall be told, in a way I'm not sorry".

"You're not sorry?", Jamie asked surprised.

"You have no idea how much Chris hurt me when she left. When she said that being in the FBI meant so much more to her than I did and ever would do. She threw our lives away, I wasn't good enough. And she didn't mind telling me that over and over again.", TC explained himself.

She nodded, she knew that feeling of being told you're no good. Feeling that someone is ashamed that you haven't accomplished more than you have.

"But still you love her?", she asked.

"More than words can say", he answered and sadness filled his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

When he came home he walked restless around the house. It had felt good talking to Jamie, they had never really talked before, but he had liked it. She listened to him and didn't just give him the answers he wanted, but she spoke her mind. He admired that in a person.

He heard a car pull up the driveway and went out on the porch to see who it was. It was Chris' Audi. He tried to restrain himself, took a deep breath and prepared himself to see her face.

She came walking up the path to the house, and stopped when she saw him standing there. A feeling of guilt filled her for a second, but she shook it off.

"Hi", she said in an insecure way. He didn't answer her. He knew that if he as much as opened his mouth now he would start yelling at her.

"It got lonely at the hotel, is there any chance the offer is still on? That I can stay here?"

The nerve she had asking him that after she had been snuggling with Eric down at the boardwalk. Even though every cell in his body screamed no, he all of the sudden got aware that he was nodding. She smiled and went back to her car to get her bags. He went inside again, banged his head in the wall and looked down at the floor. He wanted more than anything to have her there again, still at the same time he wanted to have nothing to do with her ever again.

"Thank you so much, we can make this arrangement work for a little while, right?", she said when she threw her bags on the floor.

"Okay if I use the shower?", she asked and was already heading for the bathroom.

"Why Chris?", he asked her, still looking at the floor.

"What? I wanna take a shower", she knew that that was not what he was aiming at.

"I just don't get it. You got so pissed when you found out about Cory and me, but all the time you and Eric were doing the same thing", his voice was calm. It felt like his body had surrendered, he felt weak, like his legs wouldn't carry him much longer.

Chris stood with her back turned to him.

"Eric and I have never done anything, TC", her voice was trembling, making it all sound like a lie. TC shook his head and looked at her.

"Don't lie Chris. I know you too well to see through that", he sat down on a chair, the air was sucked out of him. He just felt an overwhelming emptiness.

"TC, I….I've never…", this had taken a bad turn. This was not what she had planned. The plan was that he would get jealous and try to win her back. Not make him think that there had been something going on the entire time. She felt trapped, she had no idea how to get herself out of the mess she had created.

"I don't think this is such a good idea. I don't want you here, Chris. Can you please just leave?", he was still calm, but he sounded exhausted.

She looked at him in disbelief. All these time they had been apart he had tried to contact her, people she had been in contact with that knew him said he was crushed, that he would do anything to get her back. Now he wanted her out of the house.

"But I…I have nowhere to go, TC".

"That is not my problem. Go to Eric, go wherever you want to go. I don't know if I care right now. I just want you out", he rose from the chair.

"I just want you out!", he screamed. It was like his body had gotten new energy when he stood up. He looked at her with hate in his eyes and pointed at the door. Chris picked up her bags slowly while she looked at him.

"TC, please", she went over to him. He pushed her against the wall with his elbow. She knew how to get lose from that grip, she knew the moves to make, but her body wouldn't listen.

"Get the hell out of my house. Don't ever come running back crying for help, or accusing me of hurting you. You have no idea what you put me through. You're just a mean, selfish bitch. I should have listen to those people who told me to stay away from you, that you were no good. I wish I had never met you!". His eyes were like lightning, he pressed her harder against the wall, and made it difficult for her to breath. Just when she thought she was running out of air he let go of her. She held around her neck and coughed. Tears were streaming down, and her body was shaking. TC was breathing heavily, standing in an attack position.

She had woken up from the noise from next-door. Monica went over to her window and saw Chris walking down the street. Her car was still standing in TC's driveway. She got a look at her face and ran into her bedroom to get some clothes on. Then she snuck out and walked after her.

She walked slowly down the beach and looked out on the ocean. It was calm and the tiny waves made a beautiful pattern of white. The moon reflected on the surface and when she stepped out in the water it reached her legs like silverrings. She fought the wish of walking further out, let the nightcold water embrace her body and make the pain vanish. The thought scared her and made her take a few steps back onto the dry sand again. Behind her the boardwalk was laying still, no sign of people. Not like the days when the stores were open and you could hear people talking and laughing all over this place. It was like her. The boardwalk during the days was her old self. This, the night, was her now. Quite and lost, swept in darkness. She sat down on the beach and started crying heavily.

Monica could hear her, and walked down to her. Chris didn't hear her coming and jumped when she noticed someone standing next to her. Monica sat down beside her.

"What are you doing here? Enjoying this?", Chris whispered.

"Believe what you want. I just woke up from the noise and went after you. It didn't look like you were doing too well", she looked out over the ocean, than at Chris.

Chris didn't know what to think. She had sounded sincere, it was just hard to know what her intentions was. She had always been after TC, of course she enjoyed this.

"No matter what you think of me, I don't enjoy seeing people in pine", Monica said like she read her mind.

"Yeah well, I prefer to be left alone so…", Chris started walking back to TC's house. She reached her car without him coming out and drove away in a high speed.


End file.
